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+++ date = '2025-09-25T13:30:38+02:00' draft = true title = 'Why I Code Less (And Love More)' categories = ['family'] tags = ['work-life-balance', 'parenting', 'priorities', 'reflection'] +++
Why I Code Less (And Love More)
There was a time when I would code until 2 AM, lost in the flow of solving complex problems. Weekend hackathons were my playground, and "just one more commit" was my evening mantra.
That was before I became a parent.
The Great Rebalancing
Having children didn't just change my schedule—it fundamentally shifted my relationship with work. The urgent pull of a crying baby quickly put my "critical" deployment tasks into perspective.
Suddenly, I had to answer harder questions:
- Is this feature really worth missing bedtime stories?
- Can this bug wait until tomorrow?
- What legacy am I building beyond my codebase?
Lessons from Little Teachers
My kids have taught me more about software engineering than any book or course:
1. Simplicity Wins
Watch a child struggle with a complicated toy, then gravitate toward the cardboard box it came in. Simple solutions often work best.
2. Iteration is Natural
Children don't get walking right the first time. They fall, adjust, try again. Good code evolves the same way.
3. Documentation Matters
Try explaining to a 5-year-old why you can't fix their tablet right now because the previous developer left no comments. Clear communication is everything.
The Better Developer I Became
Counterintuitively, having less time to code made me a better developer:
- More focused: Every hour counts, so I eliminate waste
- Better planner: I think through solutions before touching the keyboard
- Clearer communicator: I write code that others (and future me) can understand
- Stronger boundaries: I protect both work time and family time
Building Different Kinds of Legacy
This blog is part of a different kind of legacy I'm building. Not just code that might outlast me, but words and thoughts that my children can read someday to understand who their parent was and what mattered to them.
Every line of code will eventually be replaced. But the values we live by and the love we share—those are the real inheritance.
Finding the Balance
I still love coding. I still solve complex problems and build cool things. But now I do it within boundaries that honor both my professional ambitions and my family commitments.
Some nights, I close the laptop and play board games instead of pushing code. Those are often the most important commits I never make.
How has parenthood (or other major life changes) shifted your relationship with work? What boundaries have you learned to set?